Asexual Advice

month

April 2011

32 posts

limeshells asked: Hello Asexual Advice,

I'm a student leader within the LGBT community on my college campus. I would like to try to make our LGBT Resource Center and various student clubs more inclusive to asexuals. While I've gathered up some ideas of my own, I would like to know if you have any advice on how to approach this issue or any programs/workshops/other things I can do. I know...

Anonymous asked: "Oh, and because that seems to be an ongoing discussion: I watch porn, but for me it's about the actions and not the persons involved or even their bodies. I'm not picky about the type of porn, as long as the participants treat each other respectfully, but I prefer porn without storyline (they are usually bullshit). Similarly, I picture actions, not people when I...

Anonymous asked: Do you only do one question a day?

Anonymous asked: <p>This isn't asking for advice, this is just talking about my experiences.</p>
<p>I'm in my mid-twenties now and finally know that asexuality describes my sexual orientation best. I've never had sex and for a long time I thought I'd be a "late bloomer". But that never bothered me, whereas some people I know kind of freaked out at the thought...

Anonymous asked: Hi, I'm Jace. And I need your help.

I'm 19 years old, I've been Asexual ever since I can remember. I feel disgusted by the idea of sex, or even kissing. I thought I was aromantic as well.

However, for the past year, I've been dating a girl. And while from the beginning of our relationship, I felt no attraction to her (and I mean nothing, zero,...

Anonymous asked: I'm pretty sure that I'm an aromantic asexual, but there's this guy who really likes me. Today, I was rehearsing the speech that I was going to give to the guy to my friend about how he was a really good guy, but I didn't like him, when I came across saying that it was me who is an asexual romantic and how it's nothing personal about him and how any girl would be lucky to...

Anonymous asked: I really appreciate that you've set up this Tumblr! I am an asexual from Singapore, and would like to ask your views on asexuality as a personal identity and as a political identity. Despite feeling comfortable in my own skin, and not feeling particularly oppressed by my country's socio-political system, I have been increasingly drawn towards 'coming out' as an asexual, partly...

Anonymous asked: I need advice.. or just venting. My best friend and I have been friends for like 6 months but we're oddly close. We always talk about guys and how straight we are.. but honestly I don't even know. I'm completely heterosexual. I like guys (we're both girls). But I know I have feelings for her. I mean, we fall asleep cuddling, holding hands, we sleep in the same bed, and...

Anonymous asked: I have a problem. I've identified as an aromantic asexual, and had no real problem with it as I kind of missed the boat on teenage hormones. All of a sudden, my last period brought with it an actual-factual sex drive, not just vague feelings of "ooh, he's kind of cute." It was...disturbing. Do my hormonal shifts mean that I'm actually straight and that I'm just lying...

Anonymous asked: An anon was asking about getting turned on by porn and masturbating and still being asexual and I wanted to let them know I'm much the same. Porn for me is some times a turn on and masturbating is enjoyable but the idea of sex with a partner is not appealing on any level. I consider myself asexual. I've never felt sexual attraction to a partner before.

Hope this helps!...

yonderarebeards asked: My response was to an anon (April 14th), not Emi (unless she was that anon of course).

yonderarebeards asked: "if you definitely don't want sex personally, I believe that makes you asexual"

That's celibacy, not asexuality. As a sexual orientation (or a lack of one), asexuality only refers to not experiencing sexual attraction. Some asexuals do have sex and some even enjoy it. This may not have been your intention, but your stance seems to invalidate those asexuals.

Anonymous asked: You recently said that some asexuals are repulsed by sex. Is that true?

What I mean is, at other times when people have said they haven’t wanted sex/been repulsed by it, the general answer has been that they may have some kind of illness/mental block.

I guess what I really want to know is, can a healthy, 'normal' person be repulsed by sex?

Anonymous asked: I get turned on by watching porn, and I masturbate to it. But I don't want sex. Ever. The idea of me having sex is repulsive, and not because I'm uncomfortable with my body. I can't begin to describe it.

Does this make me asexual? Can you be asexual and still be turned on by porn? I know it may be silly, but I want to find a label that fits me. I want to feel like I...

ethereal-ineffability asked: I notice that you never seem to tell anyone they /aren't/ asexual... especially when I'm reading some of these and the people asking say something along the lines of "Ohai I'm still physically attracted to people which is pretty much the main point of sexuality but am I still asexual?" So I really don't get it, I guess. =\ There is a point where you're /not/...

Anonymous asked: Hello! You know... I was just thinking by now, that I really dislike those people that refuge in the "asexual" label as an excuse for their failed romantic life. It may in the future cause the bad impression that asexuals are the rejected people of society, when it's not like that. I'd like people to, before they say: "oh, I have not been in a romantic relationship for...

Anonymous asked: HELP I'm only attracted to gay men and Matt Damon, do you think I'm an asexual??? I really need 2 know. thxxxxx!

Anonymous asked: Is it still possible to identify as asexual if you're not sexually attracted to others, but are okay with having sex when it pops up?

CASE: A is dating B. A is kind of sexually oblivious, but is okay with it when B makes it clear they want to have sex. If A is okay with it and actually enjoys it too (just that they normally wouldn't think of it), is A still asexual?

Anonymous asked: To the anon who talked about porn:
I personally am one of the people you'd least expect to be asexual. I don't really like watching porn, but I love reading pornographic stories, and yeah, I do get turned on by them (well, I think that's what that feeling is). I find both guys and girls extremely attractive. And I fangirl like crazy over cute couples. The degree of difference...

Anonymous asked: Well lately, I've found myself identifying myself as a panromantic asexual but I've had sex in the past, with both men and women. The more I had sex the more I found that I never enjoyed it, so I started to think that I perhaps was not attracted to men at all. So, I started pursuing women. I have never had a romantic relationship with a women it has only been sexual. While I was with...

Anonymous asked: What is sexual attraction? An asexual is someone who doesn't experience sexual attraction, but how do you know if you experience it or not, since if you don't experience it, you don't know what it feels like? I ask because I think I'm asexual, but I don't really know what sexual attraction is, so I can't say for sure whether or not I've experienced it. And yes, I...

Anonymous asked: If I had to put a label on myself, I would say I'm an aromantic asexual. And for some reason I get the feeling that I'm straight, despite not being attracted to any type of person for the purposes of kissing or cuddling or sex, etc. (And as a result I have never done any of those things - I'm 21). The concept of "liking" someone is very strange to me.

But...

Anonymous asked: Do you think that it's possible to be a polyamorous demi- or grey-asexual?

Anonymous asked: I am attracted to people sexually, but I don't enjoy sex. Am I Ace?

Anonymous asked: I'm thirteen. And I know this is stupid because you're probably going to think I don't mean anything I say in this message because of my age. (Not judging you, just using other people's responses as an example) But, I need help on this because people that I know either judge me because of my age or can't help. So that's all I'm asking for-- Help.
This guy,...

Anonymous asked: in this ask: http://asexualadvice.tumblr.com/post/4185882901/if-i-have-no-desire-to-have-sex-and-i-dont-masturbate#notes

You said that one can feel sexual attraction but have no libido. I don't understand. I mean, I understand what you mean, but I don't understand how that is possible. Would said person feel sexual things only when looking at a person they find attractive?...

mindyshabibti-deactivated201111 asked: Hi :) Do you know of any books written about asexuality? Preferably, of course, by an asexual, but I'm not super picky at this point.

Anonymous asked: I'm 22, female, and I've never had sex or even a boyfriend (I'm sure I'm romantically attracted to men) although I masturbate and enjoy it. But I don't know where I stand on the asexual/sexual spectrum, because although most of the time the thought of any kinds of sexual activities gross me out, I'd like to try sex at least once just to see what it's like, and...

Anonymous asked: Hi, I realise that I might be being horribly pre-emptive here, as I'm only 16, but I really think I might be asexual and it's causing a lot of inner turmoil (drama drama drama) and I'm finding it really hard to come to terms with.

Is it still asexuality if you are interested in kissing and cuddling but in going no further? Because, although I'm still young, I...

Anonymous asked: It is possible to be asexual and at the same time struggle with compulsive sexual behavior?

Anonymous asked: How does an Ace person know if they like someone romantically or as more than a friend? I don't have much romantic experience, but I currently have this guy that likes me. Because of his culture, I know that sex is out of the question and he's never been kissed, but I feel like I'm pushing him away because he's kind of coming after me. I always considered myself a romantic Ace,...

Anonymous asked: I have an odd problem...When it comes to sex, I have no problem when it comes to people touching me, but I physically cannot stand to touch other people. I haven't been sexually assaulted or anything like that, I just can't stand touching people that way. And honestly, while I don't mind people touching me, I feel like I could live without it. This caused my last boyfriend to break...