Asexual Advice

month

June 2011

34 posts

Anonymous asked: Do you know what the average age of first sexual attraction is? How common it is for a teenager to have never experienced a crush? I hate that it's so much easier to know if you're any of the other orientations... but with asexuality, you could just be late.

pplwkp asked: How long is your queue? I asked something approximately 10 days ago. I’d just like an estimate so I can figure out if you scrapped it or if you’re getting to it eventually :) Chris - Sorry about this! The change in Tumblr’s format— specifically, not being able to queue asks anymore—- kind of threw us off. We try to get to all questions eventually,...

Anonymous asked: I have an awkward situation here. I’m an aromantic asexual woman and my friends have all known this for a few years now, and up until recently I had no cause to doubt that they understood what it meant (not only because I explicitly told them). My issue: Apparently this one guy whom I’ve been friends with for about six months has decided he has a crush on me, and he...

Anonymous asked: I’m a 20-year-old female and I’ve never masturbated or had sex or had any kind of physical contact that wasn’t platonic. The idea of doing any of those things - kissing, spooning, having sex, masturbating - seems really frightening and disturbing to me, and I find genitalia to be really frightening too - I can’t use tampons, for example, and the one time...

intellectandromance asked asexualadvice: Just want to say thanks for this blog. Really, thanks. :) Chris - You’re very welcome. :) Neth - We’re just happy that we can help out in any way.

Anonymous asked: This is one of those, "Am I still asexual?" TMI questions. :)

Um....I was reading an Ace blog where it says that to be able to call yourself Asexual you need to lack a sex drive.

My problem is, I do have a drive. I'm easily and frequently aroused. BUT I find people to be completely unattractive, in fact, they kind of all look the same. I can't...

Anonymous asked asexualadvice: I have a question about a question you answered a while back where you said that there is a difference between having no sex drive and being asexual. This may seem silly, but can I still identify as asexual if I don’t have a sex drive? Or at least, not a very strong one? Emi - Ah of course. There’s no reason that having a sex drive or not having one...

Anonymous asked asexualadvice: When I started uni I decided to do something I’ve wanted to do for as long as I remember but never had the freedom to; explore my sexuality. I had a one year relationship with a boy in high school, pretty much because it just sort of happened and was expected and was easier blah blah blah, and I couldn’t exactly get with a girl when I went to an all...

sexillustrated asked: Hello, I was wondering if you or any of your followers would be interested in my new blog? I illustrate sex stories and submissions :) http://sexillustrated.tumblr.com Thank you! Neth - Well, some may be. Some asexuals do have sex after all, or are interested in it from afar. Just a warning it’s all very, ah, sexual. And there’s a distinct lack of cake.

Anonymous asked: This could be impossible to answer, but how does one meet other asexual people? I’m currently in a relationship with a wonderful man, but I feel bad for him because I have no interest in ever having sex with him (again, I have in the past, but I’ve never wanted to (not that he’s forced me! He’s far too nice, I’ve just gone along with it)) which...

Is asexuality considered in the LGBT community? Or does it just fall specifically under the broad umbrella of Non-Heterosexual? Bridget—Asexuality in the context of the LGBT community is a complicated relationship at best and a controversial one at worst. Everyone on every side is very cynical and dedicated towards whether or not we are. I think “falling under the broad umbrella of...

Anonymous asked: Hey there. I don't entirely know if I'm asexual and therefore whether this applies or not, but here goes:
I'm a terrible romantic. I have day dreams about experiencing broadway or movie love, where everything isn't perfect and sometimes hurts, but eventually is all love, cupcakes and bloody rainbows. I really want to like kisses because I find the concept of them...

Anonymous asked: So I realised that I'm asexual back in October, and I feel as though I've come to terms with it well after a bit of struggling. Two of my closest friends know (even though I don't think one of them really understood what I was saying but that is a whole other issue). My question has to do with one of my other friends. We've had a bit of a complicated relationship, because I...

Anonymous asked: If I tell my doctor that I'm asexual, is she likely to suggest treatment? (since it's listed as a disorder) My doctor is on a list of LGBT friendly doctors.

Anonymous asked: Hi, I'm twenty and I'm a little confused. I had an eating disorder for two/three years, and during this I lost my libido completely. I can't remember the last time I felt sexually attracted to anyone. I've waited some time now after getting 'healthy' post ED, but I still don't feel it. I see people who I find kind of attractive to look at, but the idea of sex...

Anonymous asked: What is the difference between aesthetic attraction and sexual attraction?

Anonymous asked: On some days, I feel like I'm asexual. On other days, I feel like I'm bisexual. And then there are days that I think I'm straight. Last night I was watching TV and found myself thinking, "oh, I could kiss that girl" and said, "Guess I'm bisexual tonight."

Is this even possible or am I some weird alien from outer space?

Anonymous asked: Hello there! First of all, I just wanted to say that you're all incredibly awesome and I'm so glad this blog exists! Now, for the advice...

I'm in my 20's and I've never told anyone out loud, but for a few years now I've thought of myself as 100% asexual (pretty much ever since I found out it was a real thing you could be actually, and I was like...

Anonymous asked: I want to contact my school and ask them about teaching asexuality in sex ed lessons, but I have no idea about how to, any advice? (I have seen the template letter on AVEN, but people on the forums have said this needs re-writing so I'm not to keen to use it)

Anonymous asked: I've never been in a relationship, though I would like to pursue one. However, I feel like my standards for "intimacy" are different than those of everyone else. Because I don't consider sex to be part of a relationship (not for me, anyway), I consider holding hands, hugging, cuddling, etc. to be sort of serious steps. Basically, my version of "bases" is...well, I...

Anonymous asked: I'm a romantic ace. I'm not sure if I want to come out, because I'm afraid that if I do, guys will misunderstand the whole wants romance/doesn't want sex thing (my personal feelings on the subject; I know asexuality isn't the same thing as celibacy) that I have going on, and they'll think I'm not interested and avoid me forever and I'll never have a...

Anonymous asked: Maybe I'm just not old enough to understand what it means to be asexual, but I rather than being a horny, hormone-filled teenager, I find it almost repulsive, and I don't think I could ever have sex with anyone. I don't want to have sex, not only just because of my age, but also because I don't find it interesting. I have a crush on someone, but I still can't imagine doing...

Anonymous asked: A couple of times I've read things along the lines of "I'm not interested in having sex with any gender, so I think I'm asexual." And it got me thinking. I thought being asexual means not being sexually attracted to anyone, instead of not desiring sex with anyone. I know these two often go hand in hand, but they are seperate things, no?
I know people who are asexual...

Anonymous asked: I came out to my brother in law who promptly laughed and claim I was a single celled organism and asexuality doesn't exist

I know it isn't much, but he'd never do that with other sexualities. And it hurt, because we usually get along so well.

I then spent the entire car journey trying to educate him, my sister and their friend about transgender people...

Anonymous asked: I'm struggling with what my sexuality is. I mean, I want to be in a relationship and to experience my first kiss and what not, but I have found that I am not physically or emotionally attracted to anyone I've ever met. I'm 15, going on 16, and am being pressured by those around me to engage in 'normal' teenage activities (such as having a boyfriend, kissing, etc.) but no...

Anonymous asked: Hi I have always been asexual. I never wanted or desired a relationship or sex. I'm 22 years old and never have kissed anyone or had sex. It freaks me out when people show interest in me. I get confused when they do because I only think of them as friends. When I do have crushes they all go away. The reason I am writing this site is because I'm lost and confused. I was always ok with...

Anonymous asked: People keep saying sexuality is fluid but doesn't that play into the idea that it's a phase?

Anonymous asked: Can someone please clarify something for me? My friend says she's a bisexual asexual and I don't get how that works.

Anonymous asked: For the person asking about Rabger's model, I just wanted to say this, according to my understanding of the model:

According to that model "Asexuals" are all people who lack both Primary and Secondary Sexual Attraction. A "Demisexual" is a person that lacks Primary Sexual Attraction but experience Secondary Sexual Attraction.

On that model,...

Anonymous asked: Hi.
There is something that I find confusing about Rabger's model. So far I have understood that asexuals are people who don't experience sexual attraction. But according to this model, they might experience sexual attraction and instead asexuality is the lack of primary sexual desire.
My question is that if a person is aroused by [thinking beforehand of] the potential...

Anonymous asked: Okay, so I definitely do not feel sexual attraction, and do not have the desire to engage in sexual relations with another human being (or myself, really. I don't really get aroused by much, and when I do it's not very noticeable).
What I'm wondering is, at my current age (18), is this a definite thing? I'm asexual and that's that, I won't ever feel any...

Anonymous asked: This isn't asking for advice, but I just wanted to say - after surfing through the 'asexual' tag on Tumblr earlier this evening I found some really upsetting/disturbing/disgusting stuff being said. Then I came to this Tumblr, and it's such a relief to see positive, helpful people out there discussing something that is very important (and a somewhat sensitive topic) to me.

Anonymous asked: How can a person identify as bisexual and asexual? (need clarification)
My friend said he thinks he started out straight but then started leaning towards bisexuality, and now wants to move towards asexuality. It kind of irritated me because he spoke about it as if sexual orientation was something you could choose. But I've come across people calling themselves bisexual asexuals so I...

Anonymous asked: I consider myself bisexual and I am in a hetrosexual relationship at the moment. To begin with it was all sunshine and daisy's however now I can go for weeks without seeing him and I am fine with that. We barely hold hands, kiss or cuddle and I am fine with it. I see him more as a friend. I don't want to get close to people in an intimate way because I don't want people knowing...