April 2012
42 posts
4 tags
Anonymous asked: Hi! I'm 15 years old, and while I do find people attractive I've never experienced a need to have actual sexual relations with them,(Thinking is one thing, doing is entirely different.) Masturbation is more awkward than pleasurable and sex seems pretty awkward too. I'm scared I'm broke or something aha. I've thought about considering myself asexual or possibly demisexual...
Anonymous asked: My partner is asexual but has sex with me because he doesn't expect me to remain abstinent because of his asexuality. I feel kind of bad because it's not something he really wants to do, he's only doing it because I'm not asexual. Does this sound normal, and should I not feel bad about his decision about this?
Anonymous asked: i've always identified as asexual at a young age even before i knew it was possible. people always tell me stuff like " I oppress my sexuality" or they say like, "everyone has sexual desires". what are things you say to such people and such claims?and what exactly does science have to say about asexuality? i'd like to know what you know about that.
Anonymous asked: I identify as grey-a but I'm big into shipping m/m f/f m/f whatever as long as they have chemistry. I love what sex can say about other peoples relationships I just don't really want to have sex myself. Is that normal?
Anonymous asked: Ive always thought of myself as heterosexual,but I'm starting to question whether or not I'm asexual. I just broke up with my first boyfriend(I'm a freshman)and one of the reasons was because making out just made me uncomfortable. I've never been sexualy attracted to anyone,nor have I ever had the whole head over heels teenage crush thing. But I'm scared to label myself...
Anonymous asked: Romantic asexual here. I'm in love with my best friend, who is sexual. I'm pretty sure that if I told him I wanted a romantic/sexual relationship he'd say yes, but I'm not sure how to explain what it is that I want. We already cuddle all the time, but I'd also like to kiss him and share a bed with him. But how do I explain that kissing and bed-sharing are not sexual for...
Anonymous asked: Hello! Is it wrong to consider oneself asexual but still enjoy erotic/pornograpic art and such? I always have hard time telling people that no, I'm actually not into sex personally and that I don't feel that is a problem that should be "fixed" since I'm perfectly happy like this. I've generally labeled myself under "asexual" because of that, but people -...
Anonymous asked: how do you know if your romantic or aromantic
Anonymous asked: I'm a sexually active asexual. I'm planning on hooking up with a friend of mine. Should I share that I'm ace? I feel like it might actually just hurt him because I'd have to explain that I don't feel sexual attraction, I just enjoy the physical pleasure, and as such, the person delivering it... doesn't really matter. I'm just not sure if this is a vital piece of...
Anonymous asked: My boyfriend is asexual and I am not. He says he feels more comfortable when we don't have sex recently, though he has had sex with me before. I'm worried that our relationship won't work out because sex is sort of important to me in a relationship. Is it possible for me to still date him and be happy? And have there been couples that were sexual/asexual that didn't have any...
Anonymous asked: Do you have a gender breakdown of asexuality, either through legitimate research or through your own experiences? I'm aware of a disproportionate number of asexuals who neither identify as male or female (myself included), but I also notice a huge number who are cis females. Where are the asexual men?
Anonymous asked: My friends didn't take me seriously when I came out to them and told them I'm asexual. Any advice? They all say that I shouldn't close the doors or that I probably just haven't found the right person yet but I'm sure as heck that I don't and have never been sexually attracted to anyone. Thanks!
Anonymous asked: I realized a few months ago that I was aromantic asexual, and that I really don't want to be in a relationship. Any advice for breaking up with my boyfriend, and explaining the break up to other people? I'm not out to most people yet.
Anonymous asked: I have just begun considering myself asexual and have never before done it before because I do get aroused and masturbate (I think I have a pretty average sex drive) but I do not enjoy sex at all or want anything to do with it. I'm also quite comfortable with defining myself as biromantic. Could I really be asexual? Help?
Anonymous asked: So based on that last advice ask, if I have a pretty "normal" libido and I know I'm attracted to women on some level (I used to identify as a lesbian...) but I don't have a strong desire to do anything physical at all with them, would that classify as asexuality?
Anonymous asked: I didn't know identifying with being asexual would be so hard. I felt happy at first knowing that I finally knew what I was but now I hate it and wish I was just like everyone else. I'm going to be 18 in a few months and have never had a boyfriend or girlfriend. I would like one but I know that if I ever got into a relationship that after a while i'd have to say that I don't...
Anonymous asked: I've been struggling with my sexuality for years now. Since stumbling across the term asexual I felt like I finally fit in somewhere. The thing is, I always doubt my asexuality because sometimes, although very infrequently I experience random arousal which seemingly appears from nowhere. The arousal isn't based upon looking at someone attractive, I don't want to have sex with them....
Anonymous asked: do you think that there should be an asexual option on your sexuality, when it comes to match sites and what not?
2 tags
odannygirl7 asked: Not asking advice. ^_^ But wrt the last question that was asked, and the answer to it... I'm not sure that sexual desire/libido should be the same thing as arousal. So, like, arousal is the physical stuff that happens (lubrication/erection), libido would be how often you want sex (with people or with yourself), and sexual attraction would be who you want sex with. (of course sex means...
2 tags
Anonymous asked: You've said a lot of times that asexuality means not having sexual attraction. Now I'm wondering what exactly "sexual attraction" is and where it starts. Does it start when a person sees someone and thinks "I would like to have sex with them"? I'm a bit confused on that part :/
Anonymous asked: My whole life I thought I was bi, but I was more attracted to men. Recently I lost my virginity and I've had sex a few times since then, but I don't like it. But I don't have a crazy attraction to women, either. As stereotypical as it sounds I'm so confused right now and frustrated. Does this mean I might be asexual?
Anonymous asked: I enjoy going on dates with girls, having long conversations, walking arm-in-arm, snuggling, kissing... but I'm beginning to realize that I don't want anything more "physical" than that. The thought of sex doesn't disgust me, but it doesn't exactly appeal to me, either. I'm just... totally neutral on that issue. Is it possible that I'm asexual?
Anonymous asked: So I *think* I'm asexual, but sometimes when I see someone that's really really attractive (male or female, doesn't matter), I get this feeling like I want to snuggle up with them and go to sleep. It's not the "want to have sex with them" feeling I hear people say sexual attraction feels like, but it's definitely something. What would you say it is?
katieemcgrath asked: Hello! Not sure if I missed my last ask getting answered, or it didn't send, so here goes again. What's a "zucchini"? I can't find it in any asexual tumblr glossaries. Also, thank you so much for running this. I figured out some things after reading this and other blogs, and actually had a discussion with a few friends about being on the ace spectrum, and they were very...
Anonymous asked: Hey, Um, I recently just stumbled upon this blog and thought it would be a good idea to ask some things. I don't find myself attracted to anyone. I don't desire a relationship at all, the idea of being in one makes me ill. I'm not sexually attracted to either gender. And this bit really confuses me... I hate being a woman. I don't want to be a man either, but I hate having a...
Anonymous asked: Hey there! So, I'm perfectly fine being asexual and all. I mean, I'm an introvert too, but there's one thing I wondered about. One thing I never really heard anyone talk about or mention in any of these communities: I don't really think I belong to any gender. I'm not talking about being androgynous - I mean feeling about having no gender at all. Is there a place for...
1 tag
Anonymous asked: Sup? So, I have a few questions to ask. I am not sexually aroused by men or women, But I view women as attractive, and desire romantic relationships, simply, without sex. I don't mean to sound ignorant, but I was wondering, is the possibility of me being asexual, and if so, is there a certain type of a sexual catagory that I would fit in to? I'm not sure if this will be a enough...
2 tags
Anonymous asked: I just came out for the first time today as an asexual bi-curious-romantic to two people today. I just wanted to say how much I appreciate this blog and how confident it made me in my orientation. The only thing is, I'm scared how my best friend and parents will react to this. My parents are deeply religious and my friend can be a little less than understanding at times. What's the best...
2 tags
rewritting asked: Okay so can I be asexual and still think about sex? I mean I COULD do it. But I really wouldn't like it, or not like it for that matter. It'd be awkward and whatnot. But still, as a really amateur comic artist I have characters that are extremely sexual, and I fine people sexually attractive. I also enjoy kissing and cuddling and whatnot. So does that make me asexual still? I'm...
1 tag
Anonymous asked: I'm a 17 years old transman in the process of coming out. I have been focusing mostly on gender expression but started wondering about my sexuality, or lack there of. Before I thought I was a straight girl, realized I was a gay guy, now I think I am a homoromantic asexual. I don't want any genitals, male or female. Is this normal for asexual people? Im uncomfortable with all...
1 tag
Anonymous asked: I have had a boyfriend for nearly three years now, and I love him, but at least half of that time was spent long-distance, with me in the middle of the country and him on the East coast. I'm slowly starting to realize that while I like things like hugging and cuddling, I just... am not nearly as interested in sexual activity. I do get genuinely aroused every now and again, but I only need to...
2 tags
Anonymous asked: How do I come out to my parents, more specifically my mom? (I'm an asexual aromantic)
2 tags
Asexual Education FAQs.
asexualeducation:
Okay, so I get a lot of people asking whenever or not they’re asexual. I thought I would make my own FAQ based on the types of asks I get. Some of them might be obvious but remember that many people are new and haven’t discovered asexuality before, so it’s always good to look at the basics.
1. Am I too young to be asexual?
Honestly, I don’t think age should be a factor in...
1 tag
Anonymous asked: I, for whatever reason, really like having close guy friends; we cuddle, sleep in the same bed etc. But there's one friend who I always end up drunk with and one thing tends to lead to another and we always end up kissing a lot. I've told him I'm asexual, and he's said he's okay with it, but he's tried to kiss me sober and tbh I find it completely disgusting and...
1 tag
Anonymous asked: I was in a queerplatonic relationship since 2006. Three weeks ago, my zucchini told that he/she/whatever may not be asexual. We've been planning to get married. I cant love that kind of person. I've lost my bestfriend, i've lost my children, i've lost my zucchini. I dont know what to do. I'm dying everyday... Any advice even for this?
1 tag
Anonymous asked: umm... alright, this is kind of awkward but im not sure what i am. I've had 2 boyfriends, am currently in a relationship with a really nice guy, and definitely have crushes on guys (and occasional physical attraction to a girl) but i'm just not too keen on kissing and stuff. the idea of sex grosses me out... i masturbate though. i have no problem with "sex with myself" i would...
1 tag
Anonymous asked: I'm a 15-year-old girl who is gay. I'm a very tactile person and I enjoy cuddling, hugging, and occasionally kissing simply for the tactile sensations. I don't get aroused in any way, and frankly, the thought of having sex is repulsive. I identify as asexual, but is that the correct description?
1 tag
Anonymous asked: The thought of marriage and being with someone for the rest of my life appalls me. Same goes with the thought of someone getting their hands on me and all the emotional stuff. Is that normal?
Hi, sorry, I’ve been busy with school (still am!), but I’m trying to get back to responding to questions. Thank you for your patience!!
-Becca/Southpaw
1 tag
Anonymous asked: I'm an asexual that seems to both enjoy and be repulsed by sex, and I'm wondering how to navigate that with my sexual partner. there are moments where it's completely consensual and I enjoy it, and there are other times when I finish and I'm suddenly repulsed by what happened, while other times I'm happy and blissful. I also worry about proper consent, for a complex...
3 tags
How to have sex with an asexual person. →
edcunningham:
This is a very long and in-depth read, but it’s quite informative, if you’re interested in asexuality or know someone who is ace.
I hope someday I can be with a partner who cares enough about me to bother researching things to this degree. Because I’m terrified that I’m such a quiet and non-confrontational person that I’ll just try to quietly go with whatever they want/do so that...
