Anonymous asked: Hi, I'm 13 and I've been wondering about my sexuality. For the majority of the week I've determined that I'm most like a grey ace. A grey ace is another form of being Asexual, right? like in the middle? I don't know though. Partically I don't think about sex. I do masturbate, and am able to be aroused by things sexually. I'm able to appreciate the male and female form so I'm a little bicurious as well. I'm just not sure though if I truly understand enough to label myself. Any advice?
Yup, gray asexuals are considered part of the asexual spectrum, along with demisexuals!
Grey asexuality is a pretty wibbly-wobbly area where people occasionally experience sexual attraction. Demisexuality is considered a type of grey asexuality because it’s when people only experience sexual attraction after a deep emotional bond has been formed.
That being said: some asexuals do think about sex and some don’t. Some asexuals masturbate and get sexually aroused and some don’t. Some asexuals experience aesthetic attraction (appreciating male and female forms, as you say) and some don’t. So it’s possible you could be asexual!
The difference between asexuality and grey asexuality is really about whether or not you’ve ever experienced sexual attraction. I’d imagine that many grey aces don’t even know they’re grey ace because it’s not really a popular term.
It’s okay not to have a label yet~ It takes some people years to really figure themselves out. And you might use one label for a period of time and find out, years later, that you’re a different one. For instance, before I discovered asexuality, I tentatively labeled myself as “bisexual” because I thought I’d be fine dating men or women and that I was just “broken” and if I had a relationship I’d develop sexual attraction. But then I did stumble into a relationship and…no sexual attraction. Then when I found AVEN, my experiences finally started to make sense!
I’d advise you to take your time, dear Anon. There’s no need to rush into things. Maybe you could read up about some asexual experiences and see if you can relate? I’m always linking this tumblr, because I think it’s pretty great for reading about what other asexuals have to say. But there are also tons of asexuals all over tumblr and there’s also AVEN, which has a forum and chatroom.
Relax, Anon. You’re not alone- discovering your (a)sexuality is a challenging process and I think it’s brave of you to come here and ask for advice about such a difficult and personal topic. Take care! <3