Music recommendations for my fellow metalheads, and those who want to join us.

Yo, if y’all want some songs without love or sex you should definitely check out, well, any metal band, and I’m talking real metal, not that BMTH and OM&M stuff. My faves at the moment are:

Disclaimer: I don’t know every song of all those bands, and the ones I don’t know too well are marked too with an *

Other than that, I can’t really think of anything else but yeah.. hope that helps some people out there, however if you’re a metalhead you might know most of those already, and if you aren’t then chances are you won’t like most of them, but I’d definitely try, they have some real gems among them that even mortal humans that I know like |„|,(>.<),|„|

(Mod note: Okay, this is seriously the last word on the topic today. There are real asks I want to get to, but since this was so well researched and has linkies, I’m sharing it. -Kiowa)

Anonymous said: Of Monsters and Men doesn't have many romantic lyrics and pretty much no sexual lyrics, and there are a few Green Day songs that aren't romantic/sexual.

Already have OMAM somewhere, and thanks for that recommendation!

Seriously, though, folks - I cannot recommend Anberlin highly enough. Try out “Unstable,” “Unwinding Cable Car,” “Pray Tell,” “Self Starter,” and “Someone Anyone” for starters.

-Kiowa

Anonymous said: To be honest I kinda feel like the ace community focuses on/mostly protects pro-sex aces and aro folk, which leaves many of me with a community that isn't very good for romantic and sex-averse/celibate folk. Do you know of any good blogs for sex-averse and/or romantic aces?

This one! We get a lot more asks from sex-repulsed aces, partially just because there are so many more of them. Um. I follow ace-muslim, asexualnarwhals, queenieofaces, redbeardace, and anagnori, just to name a few. 

Fun fact - if you ask the 4%ish of sex-favorable aces, the community focuses too much on sex-repulsed/sex-averse aces (55%ish of the community). It really all depends on what blogs you’re looking at. 

Our line here (and the line on my blog, as well as on all the blogs I follow I think) is that whatever your view of sex is, you belong here. It’s okay to want sex, it’s okay not to want it, it’s okay to not care. It doesn’t matter. You will always be welcome here. And it is important to discuss the issues that all aces face, as well as the issues specific to sex-favorable aces vs sex-indifferent aces vs sex-repulsed aces. AND we need to include and discuss both aromantic and alloromantic aces. 

-Kiowa

the-strong-stranger said: More non-sexual artists: -of mice & men -get scared -mayday parade (very romantic though so idk) -papercities

Thanks for the recommendations!

I’ll also add Mumford and Sons (again, YMMV on some songs, but they’re very much not sexual). 

-Kiowa

Anonymous said: Has anyone mentioned the band Imagine Dragons? They have some great music and no love-y/sexual stuff.

Oooh, yes, excellent recommendation! They do definitely have some romantic songs (avoid “Every Night” in particular) but a lot of songs that aren’t (“Radioactive,” “Demons,” “America,” just to name a few).

-Kiowa

magierkatja said: I also love Owl City but he does have a lot of romantic songs. Most of them are beautiful regardless. Also if anybody likes instrumental/orchestral/a Capella, I really enjoy violin player Lindsey Stirling, and singers Peter Hollens and Sam Tsui.

Thank you for sharing as well! 

It’s important to note that what comes across as romantic to one person may also be interpreted differently by another. 

-Kiowa

Anonymous said: owl city is my favorite band, he has very few love songs and only one or two sexual ones.

Awesome, thanks for the recommendation!

Anonymous said: Have some artists that DON'T have heavy sexual undertones in what the sing, and their songs can even be interpreted platonically: Josh Groban, Jack's Mannequin, Mae, and Pentatonix.

Thanks for sharing!

I also listen to Anberlin, MUTEMATH, and Bastille - many of their songs are either not based around relationship stuff (Anberlin in particular tackles a lot of other concepts, and I cannot recommend them highly enough), or can be interpreted platonically. 

-Kiowa

Anonymous said: I watched the MTV music awards show and.... all but a few songs was heavy, heavy on all things sex. At the end I just cried because I felt so broken because I feel like, I cannot be a "full person" because I'm missing this huge basic building block that EVERYONE ELSE has. I feel so broken right now. What should I do? How can this get better? I need help or, in the very least, words of comfort.. please...

Acenon, I feel you. Mainstream media, music, TV, movies all tend to be heavy on sex (and romance, which is what I get hung up on a lot). It sucks, but you are not alone. 

You are not broken. You are wonderful exactly as you are, just like the other 70 million asexual folks out there. None of us are broken. Just because you don’t get sex doesn’t mean anything. I don’t understand the appeal of cliff diving or of boats in general, but I know a lot of people like those things. That’s okay - we don’t all have to like or understand or be interested in the same stuff.  You are a full person exactly as you are, and you never have to change. 

Here’s what I’d recommend. Immerse yourself in the things that you do like. Have a hobby? Spend lots of time doing it, reading about it, improving at it. Like reading? Read all the books! Find characters that could be/are asexual in the books, and then recommend them to other aces! Make friends who share either a passion of yours or who are ace - friends with whom you have a lot in common. 

And remember, you are never alone. We are all here for you, and we empathize with you. 

-Kiowa

Anonymous said: Hey so idk how to describe myself. I thought I was asexual, but that really doesn't define me because asexual also means masturbation apparently. Is there a word for someone who doesn't want sex with ANYONE including themselves? Is that called anti-sexual? Or is that something else entirely?

Asexual doesn’t mean anything about masturbation - as we point out in the FAQs. Some asexuals enjoy masturbation, some don’t. It’s like how some people like scuba diving and some don’t. Masturbation is just an activity and in no way defines your sexuality. 

If you were reading Sea’s answer about autosexual, not that they were saying that some asexuals also identify as autosexual, but not all. If you were looking at something somewhere else, I don’t know what it said, but masturbation is always optional. 

-Kiowa